Paul the Prankster
DRIVER / GUIDE / SPIDERMAN’S ACCOMPLICE
Paul the Prankster arrived on the Emerald Isle via the “Viking Web” an ancient form of “Internet”. When he arrived he “Surfed” the streets of Dublin’s fair city until he found some fellow Viking’s colluding on St. Stephens Green in their Viking long boats.
After a successful duel with some newbie Viking’s, Paul became a Viking Splash Tour Guide in early 2011 and took charge of his own Viking long boat with a crew of Viking Virgins! At the beginning Paul had the voice of an angel but over time roaring at the Celts has seen his voice blossom into a voice that could rival the voice of Ronnie Drew (a famous Dubliner).
As Paul makes his way around Dubh Linn in his long boat he can be seen and heard tormenting the Celts with his ferocious Roar! If you see him on the streets be prepared to be attaked with his roar! YEAH!
Liam the Lucious
DRIVER / GUIDE / TELEPATH / TWITTERER
Liam arrived in Ireland sometime around the 10th century and was captured by the Celts and held prisoner for a very long time. He had to work as a slave herding goats and keeping the Celt camp clean. Liam was rescued in a daring raid by the Viking Splash Tours Mad Bag of Drivers, led by his long lost friend Captain Pat, early in 2011. Liam the Lucious now captains his own Viking long ship and gets daily revenge on the Celts by roaring at them while raiding and pillaging all around Dublin City.
Captain Pat (Pat the Bratrich)
DRIVER / GUIDE / CHIEF BOTTLE WASHER
He is said to have been on board one of the first Viking longboats to arrive on our shores. He is one of the ‘Dubh Linn’, the dark strangers, who came from Denmark way back when.
Captain Pat’s first job was as a Barnacle Boy, removing barnacles from under the longboats, moving on to Anchor Boy which saw him polishing the anchor daily. He then went on to better himself as Chief Axe & Sword Sharpener which he really, really enjoyed doing! He got his first big break as a Captain with Viking Splash Tours in 2011. Since then Captain Pat, and all who join his crew, have been known to terrorise the locals of Dublin City with their boisterous laughter, soprano singing and terrifying roar (or should that be terrifying singing and soprano roaring?!)
Susan the Savage
OFFICE ROGUE / MARKETING
Savage by name, savage by nature. And not in the good way! Susan the Savage is well known in Viking Splash Tours office for her brutal savagery – stealing other Vikings’ biscuits from right under their noses and putting salt into tea instead of sugar.
Susan joined Viking Splash Tours in April of 2010. We’re not quite sure if her predecessor was willing to leave, however this is an issue that is taboo in the office. We’ve heard that there was something savage about the whole ‘incident’.
As well as taking bookings on the phone from Vikings-to-be, Susan is in charge of all the sales and marketing in Viking Splash Tours. This marketing guru holds an in-depth knowledge of all things marketing related, and can often be found updating the Viking Splash Tours Facebook page. Susan the Savage has a strong dislike for the love of animals that Natalie the Noxious and Lynn the Red (allegedly) have. So be warned, if you post anything animal-related to the Viking Splash Tours Facebook page, she may find you. And savage you.
Lynn the Red
OFFICE WENCH / TEA MAKER & DRINKER / WATCH HATER
On dark and stormy nights, when the lights are cold and the clan are gathered, huddling together for warmth, tales are told of Lynn the Red and her terrible Viking raids! Oh the Horror! Oh the Terror!
Natalie the Noxious
OFFICE MINION / RECYCLING FIEND / RESIDENT NOSEY PARKER
Natalie the Noxious has been wafting around Viking Splash HQ for four years now. Having spent the previous years living in trees as an eco warrior, she wandered into the office one day thinking there were actual ‘ducks’ here and, well, you can imagine why she earned the name Noxious.
Natalie can often be found frantically searching the recycling bins, lest another Viking put something non-recyclable in there (see picture). We, however, think she’s really scrounging for scraps of food, with half eaten pizza crusts being her particular favourite.
When Natalie isn’t looking at pictures of “cute” animals, she can be found constantly commenting on Facebook and occasionally answering the phone at Viking Splash HQ.
Just be thankful you can’t smell her down the phone.
DRIVER / GUIDE / JUNIOR VICE PRESIDENT / CEDRIC CECILE SNEED IV
Heard from Dawson Street to Dean Street, Vinny the Voracious’s chilling snarls ruptured onto the Viking Scene in 2008. His story stretches far into the distant past of the wasteland of Viking Norway where he was the lead singer of the band ‘Thor’s Hammer’. Their debut album, titled ‘Celtic Terror’, was a roaring success and it was through this notoriety that Viking Splash Tours heard about this savage creature of fur and fumes. Lured to Ireland with the promise of yet more monasteries to pillage, he eventually settled into a comfortable lifestyle of raiding and roaring on the streets of Dublin, terrifying the locals with his deafening roar and manic laughter.
Jimmy the Gallant
DRIVER / GUIDE / PAPA VIKING
Some say that before ever the chicken or the egg was perceived there was Jimmy the Gallant… Records from this era are hard to come by but what they do tell us is how this menacing Viking emerged from the primeval bedrock of Denmark. In a row-boat. Under a blue sky. On Wednesday. At 5pm. Things become sketchy in the intervening years between that Wednesday and this but one thing is for certain… it was Jimmy the Gallant who discovered how to put a fig inside a fig roll.
Barry the Brutal
DRIVER / GUIDE / TOUR DODGER (so says Vinny the Voracious)
This mischievious Viking is one to keep an eye on. Possessed by the spirit of Loki, the Viking God of Mischief, this wild-eyed rogue has tricked and scammed his way from Sweden to Swaziland focused on one thing only.. having a laugh! Tricksy and troublesome, it was Barry the Brutal who polished the apple of temptation in the Garden of Eden, it was Barry the Brutal who opened the gates of Troy and brought in the wooden horse and it was Barry the Brutal who found Wally!
Willy de Mental
DRIVER / GUIDE
Willy de Mental came to Viking Splash Tours from the fabled wilds of Longford. Willy’s first job was a window cleaner in the Lancashire mine pits back in the day. Following on that meagre success, he started up a little business selling water-proof tea-bags, glass hammers and non-stick glue to a little known pygmy tribe on the outskirts of Longford village. Despite the roaring success of the business, Willy packed it all in to become one of Viking Splash Tours’ mad bag of drivers in 2010.
Owen the Saint..
DRIVER / GUIDE
.. goes marching in.
Ger ‘The Hoarse Norse’
DRIVER / GUIDE
Formerly known as Ger ‘The Mellifluous’, this savage Norseman toured with Vinny ‘The Voracious’ and his mighty band of wayward rogues ‘Thor’s Hammer’ back in the 10th century. A lifetime of roaring and screaming during the early days of Viking raids of Ireland has left Ger a little more snarly and gritty than his hoardes of loyal fans may recall from days gone by. Ger joined the Viking Splash Tours band of vicious vikings in 2010.